...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
