My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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