Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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