have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
