Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
this hospital has no fireball
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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