i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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