Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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