Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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