BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
