I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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