i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
