The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
