break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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