we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Alive.
So much puke
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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