Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
