My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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