I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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