then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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