If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
