my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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