woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
