I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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