she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
