Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
