hotel room ftw
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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