My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
