we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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