nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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