If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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