i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Rumble strips road head = magical
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
