they need to just BURY HIM!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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