??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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