ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
