I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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