I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize