We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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