There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
