remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize