she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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