I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
