It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
