dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
