fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
