When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
