I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
