I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
