I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
