spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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