i think i have herpe
just one?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
