he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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