I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
