I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh god it's open bar.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
