gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
