i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize