they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
