I'm eating all of the evidence.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
