It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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