I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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